You just made me feel so damn special
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Found the puke drawer
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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