i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
