Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
