Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
