someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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