dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
