well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The adults are the big ones right?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
