p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
