16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
