Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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