your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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