3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
