And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
