whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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