nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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