Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She even gives head with a lisp.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize
