ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
