he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
