Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
