Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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