I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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