if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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