i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize