We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
