i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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