I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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