Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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