he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
