Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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