someone owes me an orgasm
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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