I can tuck mytits in my pants
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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