i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think i have two assholes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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