I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
