just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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