I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
