i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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