U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
