Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so let's talk penis.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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