i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
