I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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