Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
