Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
