Your mouth is God's brothel.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
