Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
