so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
