my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
