the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
