He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
