Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
