I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
