dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
