Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
