I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
