Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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