Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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