we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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